
Cocaine dogs and TikTok therapy: Rand Paul roasts elites in annual Festivus Report
Photo by Samuel Corum/Getty Images
The report features a roundup of the government’s most egregious spending, including experiments dosing dogs with cocaine and teaching ferrets how to binge-drink. One program taught monkeys how to play a video game inspired by “The Price Is Right” for a whopping $14.6 million.
Some spending was directed toward actual people, not just pets. One program from the Department of Health and Human Services spent $1.5 million on an “innovative multilevel strategy” to reduce drug use in “Latinx” communities by using influencers and celebrities in TikTok campaigns, which the report dubbed “TikTok therapy.” Other programs spent $2 million on “gender-affirming care” in Guatemala through USAID, as well as $2.8 million in DOD grants for implanting humanized mice with aborted fetal tissue.
Other funds were just misused entirely, with nearly $200 billion in COVID funds for schools being wasted on excessive amenities like ice cream trucks, rooms at Caesar’s Palace, and renting out MLB stadiums.
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Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images
“That’s all for today, folks,” Paul said in a post on X. “I hope you’re horrified — I mean, I hope you enjoyed it. The Festivus holiday must come to an end. If only the programs we write about would also come to an end.”
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