Category: Blaze Media
Liz Wheeler: It’s Cuomo — not Curtis Sliwa — who should drop out of NYC mayoral race
There have been calls from both sides of the aisle for NYC Republican mayoral candidate Curtis Sliwa to drop out of the race, as he continues to lag far behind front-runner Zohran Mamdani.
While the argument from many is that Curtis Sliwa’s base would then vote for Andrew Cuomo — who they view as the lesser of two evils — BlazeTV host Liz Wheeler doesn’t think they’re right.
“While on paper, Andrew Cuomo is clearly less of a radical than Zohran Mamdani, might seem like he’s the lesser of two evils, that’s actually just hypothetical because Zohran Mamdani, even though he verbalizes these extremely radical, dangerous, anti-American viewpoints, he hasn’t been terribly effective in doing any of that stuff,” Wheeler explains.
“He just says it, and he has a large platform, and words matter. But his policies haven’t yet hurt people. But Andrew Cuomo’s have,” she continues, noting that Cuomo “presided over the tyrannical disaster of COVID in New York City.”
“Over 10,000 senior citizens in New York City were essentially sent to their deaths by then-Governor Andrew Cuomo because he forced them to go back to nursing homes, and they died of COVID there,” she says.
“And his record, Andrew Cuomo’s record, even if his words are less radical than Zohran’s, is Andrew Cuomo’s record not more deadly? And so, when I hear this argument coming from some people on the right that Curtis Sliwa should drop out, I’m like, ‘No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You’re thinking about this all wrong.’”
Wheeler believes Andrew Cuomo should drop out, not Curtis Sliwa.
“Andrew Cuomo’s voters obviously reject Zohran Mamdani. That’s why they’re choosing the independent Andrew Cuomo over the Democrat Zohran,” Wheeler says. “So, if Andrew Cuomo drops out, would his voters not migrate to Curtis Sliwa?”
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Far-left congressional candidate hit with reality check after allegedly impeding ICE operations
The Department of Justice has indicted Kat Abughazaleh, a progressive congressional candidate who previously worked for Media Matters of America, with forcibly impeding, intimidating, and interfering with a federal agent during a chaotic protest in Broadview, Illinois.
Five other people involved in the incident were also indicted.
Blaze News was present at one of the protests where Abughazaleh filmed herself appearing to be part of a mob that impeded a federal vehicle with a federal agent inside.
Abughazaleh is a candidate for Congress in Illinois’ 9th congressional district but has been consistently protesting at the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement processing facility outside Chicago. Broadview is not located inside the 9th congressional district.
Abughazaleh has been seen in multiple videos, including video she has posted herself, appearing to attempt to stop federal vehicles from leaving or entering the facility.
Blaze News was present at one of the protests where Abughazaleh filmed herself appearing to be part of a mob that impeded a federal vehicle with a federal agent inside. The agent continued to drive at a slow pace, and the people did not get out of the way, video showed.
ICE agents stationed by the perimeter fired pepper balls at the crowd to get them to stop their attacks.
Abughazaleh posted on X her response to the charges, claiming the Trump administration is trying to stifle dissenting views.
Photo by Blaze News
“This case is a major push by the Trump administration to criminalize protests and punish anyone who speaks out against them. That’s why I’m going to fight these unjust charges,” she said, painting her and other protesters’ actions as standing up to “masked men” who are “abducting our neighbors.”
The facility in Broadview has been a consistent target of anti-ICE agitators since the Department of Homeland Security launched Operation Midway Blitz. DHS had to install a temporary security fence to prevent rioters from having easy access to the building, but a judge later ordered the fence to be taken down.
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Miyares: Virginia Dems’ ‘Last-Ditch’ Gerrymandering Gambit Is Unconstitutional
According to Miyares, there is no lawful path available for Democrats to redistrict the state ahead of the 2026 midterms.
California judge disqualifies Trump’s LA-area prosecutor — but he’s not going anywhere
An acting U.S. attorney in California was disqualified from prosecuting several cases after a judge ruled that he overstayed his temporary status in that role. However, the Trump appointee will continue to serve as the district’s top prosecutor.
A judge ruled that Bill Essayli has overstayed his temporary tenure as the acting U.S. attorney for the Central District of California — the largest attorney’s office outside of D.C. — since July 29, the AP reported. Essayli was sworn in on April 2 of this year.
‘I do the American People’s bidding at the direction of their duly elected President. That’s how our Constitution works.’
The ruling relates to three criminal defendants who sought to have their cases dismissed on the grounds that Essayli was illegally serving as acting U.S. attorney.
U.S. District Court Judge J. Michael Seabright wrote in his ruling on the case, “Simply stated: Essayli unlawfully assumed the role of Acting United States Attorney for the Central District of California. He has been unlawfully serving in that capacity since his resignation from the interim role on July 29, Essayli may not perform the functions and duties of the United States Attorney as Acting United States Attorney. He is disqualified from serving in that role.”
However, NBC Los Angeles reported that Seabright declined to remove Essayli fully from the prosecutor’s office.
RELATED: Federal judge rules Alina Habba is not lawfully acting as US attorney for NJ
Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images
According to the order, U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi appointed Essayli as first assistant U.S. attorney, or FAUSA, on July 29, effective upon his resignation as interim U.S. attorney. This allowed him to remain in the prosecutor’s office and to perform FAUSA duties, as Judge Seabright affirmed.
Seabright concluded that the criminal cases against the three defendants would not be dismissed because other attorneys legitimately co-signed next to Essayli, though Essayli would not be allowed to continue prosecuting those cases in his former capacity as acting U.S. attorney.
However, Seabright noted this case does not remove Essayli from his current role as FAUSA: “Essayli remains the FAUSA and may perform the functions and duties of that office.”
“For those who didn’t read the entire order, nothing is changing. I continue serving as the top federal prosecutor in the Central District of California. It’s an honor and privilege to serve President Trump and Attorney General Bondi, and I look forward to advancing their agenda for the American People,” Essayli, whose X profile still calls him the “Acting U.S. Attorney” for the district, said in a Tuesday post that included a portion of the opinion.
Late Tuesday, Sen. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) attacked Essayli in light of the judge’s opinion. “’Unlawfully serving’ in his role. Acting illegally. But left in place? While this Administration continues to replace career professionals with illegitimate political allies eager to do Trump’s bidding, Californians need better relief than this,” he said.
In response, Essayli posted, “I do the American People’s bidding at the direction of their duly elected President. That’s how our Constitution works. Try reading and abiding by it sometime.”
Acting U.S. Attorney of Nevada Sigal Chattah and acting U.S. Attorney of New Jersey Alina Habba have faced similar attacks in recent months.
Blaze News contacted Essayli’s office for comment.
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Sob story about ‘undocumented father’ being arrested falls apart once rap sheet is revealed
NBC News in the San Francisco Bay area got a brutal fact-check after publishing a story about an “undocumented father,” identified only as Gerardo, being arrested by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement outside his home before going to work.
While 42-year-old Gerardo was being arrested, Idalia, his wife and a U.S. citizen, ran out to try to stop the arrest, NBC Bay Area reported. She claimed a female agent hit her 22-year-old daughter with a baton but did not capture the moment on camera, nor is it seen on the Ring security camera.
His ‘rap sheet’ includes lewd and lascivious acts with a child.
Idalia said she immediately contacted the Mexican Consulate in San Jose and a hotline for immigration legal services.
The Department of Homeland Security responded to the sob story, revealing that Gerardo has been accused of heinous crimes. According to DHS, his “rap sheet” includes:
- Lewd and lascivious acts with a child,
- Battery of a spouse,
- Domestic battery,
- Compensation for prostitution, and
- Felony re-entry after removal.
“Of course [NBC News] refuses to tell the American public that this illegal alien from Mexico has a rap sheet,” said Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs Tricia McLaughlin.
At time of publishing, NBC Bay Area has not updated its story to include Gerardo‘s alleged criminal history.
Photo by Jacek Boczarski/Anadolu via Getty Images
The Bay Area was expected to see a surge in federal immigration agents, but that deployment was put on pause. Despite the lack of extra agents, anti-DHS protesters blocked access to Coast Guard Island in Alameda. After most protesters had left, a driver allegedly attempted to use a U-Haul to ram the security checkpoint, forcing the Coast Guardsmen to fire upon the truck.
The driver was shot in the stomach, and another bystander was slightly wounded. Both are expected to recover.
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Karine Jean-Pierre’s humiliating book tour is even worse than you think
Karine Jean-Pierre has been hawking a new book in a desperate attempt to cash in on her time as White House press secretary — and it’s not going well.
Whereas fellow lesbian and propagandist Rachel Maddow of MSNBC suggested that the book was a “truly new and valuable contribution to our understanding of the Biden presidency,” the Washington Post shredded “Independent: A Look Inside a Broken White House Outside the Party Lines,” noting that it was a “fascinating book for all the wrong reasons.”
‘Sorry, I’m not trying to be dense. I’m a little unclear about what this has to do with Democratic leaders.’
The reviewer — confronted with 180 pages’ worth of Jean-Pierre’s thoughts “written in the outmoded register of one of those lawn signs proclaiming that ‘in this house, we believe kindness is everything'” — expressed amazement “that someone who writes in such feel-good, thought-repelling clichés was hired to communicate with the nation from its highest podium.”
The Post concluded on the basis of the book that Jean-Pierre is a “blinkered” establishmentarian whose recent departure from the Democratic Party and identification as an independent “seems to be less of a strategy than a style”; whose “thinking remains so decidedly in the box”; and who “appears to have little authentic understanding of why her erstwhile party’s approval rating has cratered.”
Journalist Matt Taibbi’s review of the book for the Free Press was similarly damning, dubbing it “history’s most incoherent memoir.”
“Jean-Pierre had over a year to think about what to say about all this, and instead of writing the book the whole world wanted, the true story (complete with photos of Biden’s used-bib collection and pictorial toilet guides) of her frustration at having to be the public face of one of the most obvious and legally perilous cons in American political history, she denied there was anything to cover up, much less that she had responsibility for it,” wrote Taibbi.
Photo by Scott Kowalchyk/CBS via Getty Images
In the book, Jean-Pierre reportedly rejects the obvious justification for Biden’s ouster — the mental and physical decrepitude that had him tumbling, mumbling, and bumbling — and claims that she “saw Biden every day and saw no such decline.” As for Biden’s humiliating performance in his TV debate with President Donald Trump, Jean-Pierre blamed a cold and travel-related exhaustion.
Perhaps worse than the reviews for the book are Jean-Pierre’s efforts to sell it on tour.
For instance, Jean-Pierre befuddled a sympathetic journalist with a series of word salads in her recent interview with the New Yorker.
Isaac Chotiner repeatedly pressed Jean-Pierre on her explanation for how and why the Democratic Party supposedly undermined former President Joe Biden ahead of the 2024 election.
When asked the second time why the Democrats had it out for Biden, Jean-Pierre said — in an interview the New Yorker indicated was edited for length and clarity — that:
they believed that he needed to step aside. There’s more to this than just that period of time. This is very layered, right? There’s a period of time that I questioned what was happening and how do we treat our own, how do we treat people who are decent people. And then you also have to think about how I’m thinking about this as a black woman who is part of the LGBTQ community, and living in this time where I also don’t think Democrats right now, Democrats’ leadership, is protecting vulnerable people in the way that it should.
The interviewer responded, “Sorry, I’m not trying to be dense. I’m a little unclear about what this has to do with Democratic leaders and many Democrats in the country thinking that Joe Biden was going to lose to Donald Trump — which was what the polls all showed — and therefore thinking that he should be replaced.”
After Jean-Pierre launched into a rant about how “nobody knows” about what could have alternatively happened, Chotiner indicated that he had no idea what the former Biden spox was trying to say.
Toward the end of the viral interview, Jean-Pierre — who had made sure to mention her LGBTQ status and race numerous times and suggested the subtitle of her book, “Inside a Broken White House,” was referring to the Trump White House — accused Chotiner of pushing Democratic Party talking points.
David Weigel, a political writer for Semafor who was among the multitude of critics awestruck by how badly the interview went, said, “Turns out you can do a career-ending interview even after your career is over.”
Even Jean-Pierre’s interview with Stephen Colbert — a liberal propagandist who helped raise millions for Biden’s campaign last year — went off the rails when the CBS late-night host proved unwilling to buy what the former White House spox was selling.
Colbert, like Chotiner, asked Jean-Pierre to explain how the Democratic Party betrayed Biden. Even though that’s a core claim in the former press secretary’s book, she appeared unable to answer, launching into a speech about Biden’s perceived accomplishments and how he was still “engaging, understood policy, and was always putting the American people first.”
The late-night host pointed out that “it takes more than that to be the president of the United States, and in a moment of great pressure on stage, we saw someone shock us and worry us. And nothing could assuage that worry. So I don’t think it was necessarily a betrayal of Joe Biden as other people saying, ‘We don’t think we were shown the Joe Biden that you saw.'”
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Democrats admit to weaponizing shutdown for ‘leverage’ against GOP while Americans feel the sting
The Democrats’ narrative pinning blame for the government shutdown on Republicans is losing steam.
Left-leaning lawmakers have openly admitted that they are using the impending expiration of SNAP benefits as “leverage” against their GOP counterparts. This tactic has ignited significant backlash, even from those who typically align with them, including CNN anchor Jake Tapper and the American Federation of Government Employees.
‘Who’s winning, who’s losing? Well, 100% America loses with this.’
The fallout is increasing the pressure on congressional Democrats to work across the aisle to pass a clean continuing resolution, averting disruptions for SNAP recipients as benefits are set to lapse this Saturday.
“Republicans control the House, the Senate, and the White House. Frankly, this is our only moment of leverage,” Sen. Chris Coons (D-Del.) told C-SPAN on Thursday in reference to the government shutdown. Coons admitted that it was “a very unpleasant tool to use.”
Senate Republicans called Coons’ comments “absolutely deranged.”
“Chris Coons believes that denying Americans their SNAP benefits may be ‘unpleasant,’ but it’s worth doing because it gives Democrats political ‘leverage,’” Republicans wrote.
RELATED: Democrats’ shutdown blame game backfires — even Jake Tapper calls them out on SNAP benefits
John Fetterman. Photo by Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images
House Democratic Whip Katherine Clark (Mass.) similarly admitted during an interview in mid-October that her party was using the shutdown as leverage.
“Shutdowns are terrible, and of course, there will be families that are going to suffer. We take that responsibility very seriously. But it is one of the few leverage times we have,” Clark stated.
Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.) told journalist Nicholas Ballasy this week that the shutdown is “the only lever we have.”
Ballasy also asked Sen. John Fetterman (D-Penn.) for his thoughts on the ongoing stalemate. Fetterman was one of the few Democrats to break ranks and vote for Republicans’ proposed continuing resolution.
“I’m not going to describe the lives of millions of Americans as, like, a euphemism, as ‘leverage.’ I mean, this isn’t a political game,” Fetterman told Ballasy on Tuesday.
“Who’s winning, who’s losing? Well, 100% America loses with this,” he concluded.
RELATED: Democrats brush off pressure from federal workers’ union to end government shutdown
John Thune. Photo by Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images
Senate Majority Leader John Thune (R-S.D.) used his time on the Senate floor on Wednesday to call out Democrat lawmakers for their controversial admissions.
Thune mentioned a comment from Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.), who previously said, “Every day gets better for us,” when referring to the shutdown.
“Lest there be any question about who is responsible for shutting the government down, make no mistake about it: These guys are the ones who are out there bragging about it ‘getting better for us every single day,’ or, ‘we have more leverage now,’” Thune stated.
Thune explained that 60 votes are required to pass the clean continuing resolution, noting that it has failed 13 times with only 55 votes.
“So, the question is, are there five people over there with a backbone? Five courageous Democrats?” he added.
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Deion Sanders proves why racial idolatry destroys teams
In a shocking defeat that left Colorado coach Deion Sanders dumbfounded, his team suffered an embarrassing 53-7 loss to Utah — but unlike everyone else, BlazeTV host Jason Whitlock isn’t surprised.
“Deion Sanders is who I thought he was and who I said he was. And the reason I’m celebratory of this is because Deion sets a bad example. He leads through racial idolatry. He leads through a victimhood mentality,” Whitlock says.
“Deion definitely loves to play the race card. Deion definitely sees himself as a victim. Deion definitely wants to be a race soldier,” he continues, likening Sanders to Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin.
“They’re lathered in so much over-the-top praise. They’re lathered in so much idolatry and people rallying around them and people excusing any and everything about their coaching that it undermines their success,” he explains.
Whitlock also points out that after Sanders’ winning streak last year, people like Stephen A. Smith were ”running around pretending like Deion Sanders has set the world on fire.”
“He can get all the money without putting in the same level of effort as other coaches. They’ve been running around with Deion Sanders on these Aflac commercials with Nick Saban as if Deion Sanders is the second coming of Eddie Robinson. Deion skipped over everybody, and the next thing you know he’s right next to Nick Saban,” he says.
“He’s not on that level, but we gave him all the rewards as if he had,” he adds, pointing out that this is common in the black community.
“There’s a burden to being black in America that black people have participated in and helped create. The removing of standards, the lowering of standards is crippling black Americans. And you can see it in football,” he says.
“You can see what’s happening at Colorado with Deion Sanders where he was anointed and appointed and celebrated as this great coach even though it hadn’t been earned. And now we’re seeing the proof of it,” he adds.
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Joe Rogan, Christian? The podcaster opens up about his ongoing exploration of faith
Joe Rogan may not be ready to call himself a Christian, but the former atheist does find himself rubbing shoulders with believers on many a Sunday.
The podcaster once again revealed details about his ongoing exploration of the faith, including his habit of regularly attending church.
‘It’s almost like everybody is under a spell.’
He also demonstrated a newfound appreciation of why someone would need God in his or her life. When recent podcast guest Francis Foster expressed amazement at how much a friend of his could rely on religion as a foundation for getting through tough times, Rogan didn’t seem nearly as surprised.
“If you really do believe that, it definitely will help you,” the comedian concurred.
Church going
At that point, fellow guest — and Foster’s “Triggernometry” podcast co-host — Konstantin Kisin chimed in that he himself had been becoming more religious.
“I haven’t got there, but I have started going to church every now and again,” Kisin explained.
“Do you enjoy it?” Rogan asked.
“I love it,” responded Kisin.
“I do too,” confessed Rogan, adding, “It’s a bunch of people that are going to try to make their lives better. They’re trying to be a better person.”
Rogan then described his church experience as getting together with a group of people who read and analyze Bible passages.
“I’m really interested in what these people were trying to say because I don’t think it’s nothing,” Rogan said.
No ‘fairy tale’
From there, the New Jersey native addressed claims he has heard from atheists and secularists who dismiss Christianity as being “foolish.”
The 58-year-old pushed back against the characterization that Christianity as a collection of “fairy tales” by “self-professed intelligent people,” noting that a proper understanding of the faith requires considering historical context, translation difficulties, and oral vs. written tradition.
“I think there’s something to what they’re saying,” Rogan offered.
Trust the science
While noting that modern science has found physical evidence for the biblical flood story told in Genesis, Rogan said he also appreciated the Bible as a compelling depiction of society 6,000 years ago.
Further segments in the podcast revealed that, perhaps due to a renewed interest in faith, Rogan’s algorithm may have even changed.
– YouTube
This became evident when the group discussed some of Kisin’s protest journalism, where he asks befuddled liberals the reason they are attending the current protest of the day.
In response, Rogan pointed to a video of a man doing interviews at a left-wing No Kings protest. The man asks attendees if they believe in human rights, to which they affirm, until they are asked about human rights “in the womb,” which is when they dismiss the idea.
“It’s almost like everybody is under a spell,” Rogan laughed.
Rogan first confirmed he was going to church in June, after hinting at the idea that he was becoming more religious. He described his attendance similarly at that time:
“It’s actually very nice; they’re all just trying to be better people.”
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‘Carrie’ and the monster who raised me
The devil and his minions have haunted me all my life.
As far back as I can remember, I’ve been visited by the unquiet dead, the hungry ghosts, and even Old Scratch himself in my dreams. Perhaps these nighttime visitations were spiritual attacks, perhaps they were the predictable manifestation of the violence and instability of my upbringing.
Like Piper Laurie in ‘Carrie,’ my mother forced me to kneel while she stood above me bellowing. ‘Humble yourself before me!’ she shrieked. ‘GodDAMN you, humble yourself!’
Maybe they were both; maybe the kind of moral derangement that afflicted my parents was a kind of demonic possession.
The devil I know
I’m not sure I believe in God, but I’m getting closer to believing in the devil. That’s a confused position, admittedly, but that’s what you get from a guy who believed as a child until it was punished out of him and then spent too many years as an obnoxious “new atheist” adult.
Whatever the answer may be, I’ve been terrified and fascinated by the supernatural, the uncanny, and the grotesque all my life. The kinds of spooky stories that gripped me were the type you find in Victorian English ghost story anthologies. Authors like E.F. Benson, M.R. James, and Elizabeth Gaskell.
If you like these too, no one reads them better than English podcaster Tony Walker. His “Classic Ghost Stories Podcast” is one of the few I find so good that I voluntarily pay for it. This is no amateur sideshow; Walker’s narration is professional grade. Why he’s not rich reading books for Audible, I’ll never know.
Weeping and wailing women in veils who glide down hallways. Rain-bedraggled brides hitchhiking on the side of the road who disappear from their ride’s passenger seat as he drives past Resurrection Cemetery. Fingerprints that appear on the windows of automobiles that cross the railroad tracks where a locomotive hit a school bus long ago killing the children on board. Their spirit fingers gently push your car along to make sure you don’t meet their sad and untimely fate.
In search of … belief
Like many kids of the 1970s and 1980s, I grew up watching shows like the cryptid/aliens/spook-filled “In Search Of,” narrated by Leonard Nimoy. My library card was full many times over with every book on Bigfoot, extra-sensory perception, telekinesis, poltergeists, and the Bermuda Triangle.
Have you heard about the moving coffins of Barbados? That’s top-quality spine tingles. As the story goes, a wealthy family living on the Caribbean island built a family vault in the cemetery. Every time a member died, the crypt was opened to accept a new coffin. And every time the crypt was opened, the coffins that were already there were tossed about helter-skelter.
Maybe it was flood waters. Except that there was no evidence of water incursion. Maybe pranksters did it. But the family sealed the stone door and sprinkled sand on the floor, and there was never a footprint betraying a (living) human presence.
For a proper classic haunting, you can’t beat the Brown Lady of Raynham Hall. Nearly everyone with a passing familiarity with the spirit world of 20th-century popular culture has seen the photograph of this long dead woman, a translucent, begowned figure descending the grand staircase of the palatial home in Norfolk, England, built during the reign of James I in 1620.
According to two photographers who were documenting the inside of the estate in 1936, as they were setting up a shot, they looked up at the stairs in astonishment. A veiled specter was float-walking silently down the stair treads, and they had just enough time to open the shutter on their plate camera and capture the most famous ghost photograph of all time.
Was she the shade of Lady Dorothy Walpole? Lady Walpole was said to have been immured in a room in Raynham Hall for the rest of her life at the hands of her husband, Charles Townshend, 2nd Viscount Townshend, who was angered by her unfaithful dalliances.
Or was this just the first and best example of trick-ghost photography, a double-exposed photographic plate? In the early days of photography, the public was not wise to the trickery available to a skilled image-maker. Long before Photoshop and AI, the public believed the camera never lies.
I want to believe. There’s something magnetic, romantic, and almost erotic about the possibility that a curtain separates us from the realm of the dead and that it thins at certain times, like now. As a child, I delighted in being scared so badly I didn’t dare turn off the flashlight under the covers I used for my clandestine and very-much-not-allowed post-bedtime reading.
Joy interrupted
Yet the possibility of an ethereal realm where the dead who refuse to acknowledge their condition “live,” a plane where real devil cavorts are not merely fun and games. If that plane exists, and if it’s populated by any of the henchmen attributed to Satan, then the other side is very serious business indeed. I’m not so sure I want to believe, in that case, but I’m also not so sure that I don’t.
When I was 8 years old, my family took a rare trip to a sit-down restaurant on Christmas Eve. We were poor, and a night out at Demicelli’s Italian Restaurant was so special that Christmas would have been joyful even if we didn’t get a single present. As we walked toward Placentia Boulevard in Fullerton, California, I looked at the night sky and saw the brightest star I’d ever seen.
“Mommy, look!” I said, tugging at my mother’s sleeve. I pulled on her cigarette hand, which annoyed her. “It’s the star of Jesus, Mommy. It’s the star that guided the Wise Men to the baby Jesus!”
It was wondrous. It made me feel light-headed with a joy I’d never felt.
My mother made a derisive sniggering noise as she blew out smoke. “Oh, no it isn’t, Josh,” she mocked. “It’s just a star. Probably Venus.”
My face went red with embarrassment, and I stayed quiet the rest of the night. I felt stupid. Unsophisticated. Dumb. Childlike. Naive. And substandard. This was a problem that repeated itself over the years. My mother was the resentful “victim” type, and she was at war with God.
I convinced her to take us to the Presbyterian church where I’d been (to her reluctance, as she recalled it) baptized as an infant for Christmas Eve services in 1986. Mother spent the walk home railing about those “Goddamned hypocritical Christians! Where were they for this single mother when I needed a little help to put food on the table?”
I can’t repeat the rest of what she said in a respectable publication.
Maternal monster
It wasn’t until my 40s that I realized why I had been captivated to the point of obsession with certain dark characters in disturbing films like 1976’s “Carrie.” This was an adaptation of Stephen King’s debut novel of the same name, a book that still ranks among his finest work. It’s only nominally about a teen girl with telekinesis, the psychic ability to move objects with her mind. The story is really about a frightened girl who grew up with a maternal monster.
If you’ve seen the movie, you remember Piper Laurie’s almost kabuki performance as Margaret White, a religious fanatic tormented by her own sense of failure and sin. Seeing herself as a fallen woman who fornicated with a man, she uses extreme interpretations of scripture to berate and subjugate the result of that union, her daughter, Carrie. Just as Margaret believes she can never be forgiven, she can never forgive her daughter for being born, for embodying her mother’s sin in too-real flesh.
So she screams at Carrie, beats her, forces her to confess sins the girl has never committed (they were Margaret’s sins), and worst of all, locks her in a “prayer closet.” The scene that terrified me the most was the vignette in the dining room when Margaret forces Carrie to her knees as she intones about how God had loosed the raven on the world, and the raven was called sin.
“Say it, woman! Say it!” Margaret screams. “Eve was weak. Eve was weak!”
She drags Carrie to the prayer closet, a black cloak whirling about her like the wings of the raven, and babbles insanely while her daughter screams for mercy. Lighting a candle in the dark, Carrie looks up to a figure of St. Sebastian on the wall, a grotesque effigy with agonized eyes reflecting the pain of his arrow wounds.
Fascinated by fear
Margaret White obviously had a severe condition called Borderline Personality Disorder, which also afflicted my mother. While my mother was not a religious fanatic, she treated me the way Margaret White treats Carrie. Just as in the movie’s dining room scene, my mother forced me to kneel while she stood above me bellowing. “Humble yourself before me!” she shrieked. “GodDAMN you, humble yourself!”
My mother did not want what she claimed she wanted: respect and filial piety. She wanted to be worshiped. My mother created herself God in her own image.
So I prayed to God to be delivered from my mother’s prison, but I never got an answer, or one I recognized. I was more certain that the world was full of angry entities, though, and to say I felt haunted wouldn’t go far enough.
That which terrorizes also fascinates. Over my life, I’ve tasted and re-tasted the fear through movies like “Carrie” and “Mommie Dearest.” Fictional versions of my real-life horror were a poison candy; they hurt so good, like the compulsion to thrust the tongue repeatedly into a canker sore that won’t heal.
I still don’t know what I believe about God, the soul, heaven, or hell.
I knew what I saw
No Halloween story would be complete without a personal anecdote of an encounter with the unexplained. This is the first time I’ve told this story to anyone, let alone in print. Like I do myself, you may doubt me. I admit that I was halfway to drunk when it happened. But in the moment, I knew what I saw and heard, I knew I was only buzzed on three beers, not falling-down drunk. I wasn’t hallucinating pink elephants or anything else.
It was 1992. I was 18 years old and sharing an apartment with my best friend, Lisa. It was movie night in the living room, and it was my turn to fetch fresh Molson Goldens from the refrigerator. I put the sweating bottles on a round cocktail tray with a rubber no-slip bottom I’d brought home from the restaurant I worked at.
I was a skilled waiter who could hold a tray with four entrees and several cocktails without spilling. And though I’d had a few beers, I was not drunk. In the hallway as I was about to enter the living room, one of the standing beer bottles on the tray violently flipped over to the horizontal with a thud. It wasn’t the kind of soft thud that happens when something tips over. It was a THUD, as if someone had thrown the bottle into the tray.
Remember, it was a rubberized tray. It was actually difficult for a glass on such a tray to slide, let alone tip over. I had not tilted the tray; I was not weaving drunkenly as I walked. The other beer bottle didn’t tip over. The two mugs on the same tray didn’t move. More, the same thing happened a few minutes later in the living room. My (replaced) beer bottle on the side table, three feet from reach, loudly tipped over on a perfectly level table and made a loud rap.
I remember so clearly stopping still as the blood drained from my head. Did I really just see what I thought I saw? I did. And I felt it, too.
In that moment in the hall, I said this in my head: “What you just saw and heard really happened. You’re not drunk, and you’re not hallucinating. But no one will believe you, and over time, you will not believe you either. Your memory will soften, and you will convince yourself that you were drunk and that you somehow caused these bottles to tip over in apparent defiance of the laws of physics and friction.”
That’s exactly what happened. As I tell you this story, I doubt myself. At the same time, I remember the warning I spoke to myself in my head about doubt there, in the moment, and I know I wasn’t crazy.
Happy Halloween.
