Ex-Green Beret’s fatherhood lessons that shape strong daughters
The current state of American culture ultimately leads young girls down a path that chases independence at all costs — but fathers have the power to stop it.
“You think you’re a tough guy, and then you have a little girl, and you find out what an absolute sap you really are,” ex-Green Beret and Virginia delegate Nick Freitas tells BlazeTV host Allie Beth Stuckey on “Relatable.”
And Freitas explains that he learned three things raising daughters, which is “somewhat unique to them.”
“You need to tell your daughters that you love them,” he says. “A lot of times what fathers don’t seem to understand is we do things like go to work, provide, protect, we work, you know, 70-hour weeks. And we think that’s translated in their minds as love, but it isn’t necessarily.”
“And so it does have to be verbalized as well as acted out in your day-to-day life,” he says, recalling an interaction with a man he calls one of the biggest “man-whores” he had ever encountered.
“I had asked him, I said, ‘How do I keep my daughter from ever falling for a guy like you?’ And he said, ‘Tell her you love her, because if you don’t, someone like me will, and she’ll believe him,’” Freitas explains.
“Another thing, too, that I would say, and this is true with all of your children, the relationship and the bonds you build start when they’re infants,” he continues, noting that a lot men have the idea that as their kids get older, they will share more of the responsibilities for them.
“No, from the time that they’re little, you need to be holding them and building those connections. Your daughters need to know that you will tell them the truth, but you tell them the truth from the position that you love them,” he explains.
However, no one is perfect, and Freitas tells Stuckey that “there’s going to come a moment in every father’s life where your child catches you not living up to the standard that you told them was the standard.”
“And in that moment, what you do is very, very important. Because if you aren’t able to look them in the eye and say, ‘You’re right, I’m wrong, and I’m sorry,’ then what you’ve taught them is not a standard of moral conduct. You haven’t taught them objective morality. What you’ve taught them is an authority structure,” he explains.
“So take the time to form those bonds, because they will pay massive dividends,” he continues.
And one of the most important tips Freitas has is that your daughter will “watch how you treat her mother.”
“And if you treat her mother with the sort of love and respect that she deserves, that will be all the standard that she needs for when the other guy comes around that doesn’t behave that way, or there’s something slightly off,” he says.
“You will be the reason why she rejects him,” he adds.
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