Category: Satire
How to Survive Your Guests and Still Get Married
One of my best friends is organizing his wedding. I’ve decided to lend him a hand with this manual for…
How to Survive Your Guests and Still Get Married
One of my best friends is organizing his wedding. I’ve decided to lend him a hand with this manual for…
The Ultimate Guide to Starting Your Own Farm This Spring
I’ve spent the last couple of days visiting a farm as part of my fieldwork for this article. The war…
Diary of a Very Dark Tuesday
Night of rain, lightning, and thunder. Monday night sliding into Tuesday. One of the worst nights of the week because,…
The Sports I Tried While Trying to Lose Weight
I’ve put on a little weight this Christmas. National Geographic called to offer me a job: starring in a documentary…
The White Supremacists Have Taken Over!
Right now, the United States is crawling with more than 86 million white supremacists! That’s according to Cea Weaver, New…
Guest Column: I’m Also a Victim of Zionist Aggression and Islamophobia. Where Are My Encampments?
In 2024, I watched and cheered as American students risked their lives to stand on the right side of history. They skipped meals, slept in tents, and boycotted exams. In the course of this honorable struggle, they transformed the manicured lawns of America’s finest universities into moral battlegrounds, the epicenter of a globalized intifada.
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A Merry Ballad for a Weeping Mustache
I had a boil upon my ass. It lingered year by year, But on a sudden Saturday, The boil just…
2025 Rear-View Awards
If hindsight is 20/20, then 2025 was a year where irony is produced by algorithms and politicians think diplomacy is…
I’m the Most ‘Heritage American’ You’ll Ever Meet. The Rest of You Can Shut Up or Get the Hell Out.
As you’ll see, I am the quintessential “heritage American,” and if you jokers don’t like what I have to say, here’s another piece of advice: Go back to the shithole continent (Europe) from whence you came.
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